never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
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The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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