I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize