Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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