i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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