If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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