you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize