OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
