he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.