i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
tequila makes me forget i have legs
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left