i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass