Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
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The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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