so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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