apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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