I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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