i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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