I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
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i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My ATM looks so different sober.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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