i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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