We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize