I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
