There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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