I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life