Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
being pregnant is like rehab
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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