MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?