from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?