Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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  (919): I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect http://tfl.nu/qvmo
  Replies (8) Good night (973) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm eating all of the evidence.

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  (716): I'm eating all of the evidence. http://tfl.nu/m4yn
  Replies (12) Good night (2087) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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  (502): everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person http://tfl.nu/7xqj
  Replies (37) Good night (849) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.

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  (419): it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants. http://tfl.nu/uvta
  Replies (40) Good night (3100) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!

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  (706): TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!! http://tfl.nu/qyaf
  Replies (3) Good night (3285) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.

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  (562): We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went. http://tfl.nu/2aw8
  Replies (25) Good night (5247) Bad night (1097)
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  (518): View more from New York

  we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.

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  (518): we should become lesbians. not together. just in general. http://tfl.nu/a6ds
  Replies (15) Good night (6430) Bad night (1023) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?

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  (573): So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number? http://tfl.nu/mc1r
  Replies (16) Good night (759) Bad night (4751) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.

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  (202): Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again. http://tfl.nu/k4e9
  Replies (88) Good night (1298) Bad night (9980) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

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  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3075) Bad night (1420) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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  (646): I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot. http://tfl.nu/r2lr
  Replies (17) Good night (6220) Bad night (863)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"

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  (804): Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?" http://tfl.nu/agco
  Replies (10) Good night (750) Bad night (3429) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?

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  (602): Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again? http://tfl.nu/01x5
  Replies (5) Good night (3261) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks

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  (253): I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks http://tfl.nu/tvej
  Replies (11) Good night (982) Bad night (489)
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  (805): View more from California

  Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life

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  (805): Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life http://tfl.nu/5728
  Replies (3) Good night (1241) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt

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