Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
