I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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