Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
