I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
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I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
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Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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