Can i not drive my cunt home
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
