Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
