I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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