So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
