The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
