i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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