THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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