Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
