shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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