Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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