we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize