Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
