chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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