Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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