I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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