If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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