Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
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He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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