peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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