What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
