i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
