I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
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I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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