college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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