Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.