I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.