The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill