my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
