Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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