I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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